Top Ten Reasons a Man May Have Stolen a Pickled Sausage

 (Inspired by  today’s Local News)

#10… He’s become addicted to the picked sausage, he loves ‘em, but he does eat them real slow.

 #9 … They didn’t have any pickled eggs available. 

 #8 … It’s close to valentine’s day and his girlfriend just craves pickled sausage! Christy’s didn’t have any in stock.

 #7 …He had just stolen a big 24-ounce Magnum and had nothing to eat with it. You know, beer goes great with pickled sausage. . 

 #6 … He was having digestive issues and had always heard that pickled sausage will set you free.

 #5  …It was a protest against the inhumane treatment of our porky friends. 

 #4 … Two words, Randy: Professional Wrestling. Everybody knows that noting beats a pickled sausage when you’re watching professional wrestling.

 #3 …He was angry about loosing money on a lottery ticket and this was payback.

 #2 … He asked his sick and dying mother if there was anything he could get for her and she replied “You know, I sure would like a pickled sausage right now. It’s something any child would do for his sick mother.

 # 1 … He was having trouble with his regular sausage and thought perhaps some store-bought pickled sausage would fit the bill.